This was once home to a series of stories that revolved around an experience with a narcissistic sociopath.
These words are my way of taking the power away from my abuser — processing it. Transforming it into something more gentle, less like a knife edge. Publishing these stories goes against much of the common advice around how to deal with an abuser of the type that I was exposed to. It isn’t what I would recommend; it can be lonely, isolating, and scary. Don’t feed their disorder; don’t provide narcissistic supply: just get away.
I never thought I’d get as much attention and support as I did. Part of processing what happened was writing: it was such a harrowing time, and I wanted to help others avoid the same thing, even though I knew the attention fed into my abuser’s disorder.
Now, months later, it’s time to put all of this to bed. My abuser is still out there continuing to hurt others, and her lack of conscience makes any kind of accountability impossible. She sees herself as a both a hero and a victim, and always will. This is something I have to accept, but I can be happy that I got out.
If you’re suffering, I am sorry. Talk to a professional; listen to people outside the shared fantasy your abuser has created with you. It could save your life.
